Levels of Communication in Marriage - Why They’re Important
Communication is the glue that holds relationships together. Without proper communication, relationships crumble and marriages end up in divorce. Each couple develops their own unique style of communication and it typically involves different levels of interaction. Each type of interaction is critical to a healthy relationship. Here is a breakdown of the levels of communication in marriage.
Levels of Communication in Marriage
The levels of communication in marriage include common conversation, nightly news, caution disclosure and more.
This is the lowest level of communication in a marriage. At this level, couples don’t really share anything deep. These are conversations you’d typically have with anybody, including strangers. Things like “The weather is great today” or “How are you doing?” This level of conversation has a place, but no depth. These are common phrases we use every day, that no one thinks about deeply, but are part of everyday conversations.
This is one of the most common levels of communication in marriage, where couples share what they know about something. This level of communication involves primarily reporting the facts, just like the nightly news. At this stage, communication has gone beyond the common. Examples of nightly news include sharing how your day went, what somebody shared on social media, how the kids did or when the car is due for a tune-up. There is not much thought given to inserting any feelings or emotions into this type of conversations or requests. It is direct, expedient and gets the job done.
This level involves cautiously disclosing your ideas, opinions and judgment. Couples reveal some but not all their inner thoughts to each other. Couples typically share information as they watch their spouses’ reactions, and if they sense a bit of doubt or rejection, they abandon the conversation altogether, eliminating the chance to get below the surface. For instance, you may bring up the fact that buying a new car may not be the best decision right now, or how you’d like to spend more time with your friends over the weekend to your husband or wife.
This is where most couples get stuck and just can’t seem to get past this stage. Many couples fear risking anything because they want to stay in their comfort zones, or due to past repercussions. Nonetheless, this type of communication opens the doors for more discussion and teaches one another to be more patient.
This is a deeper level of communication where feelings can be hurt. This level of communication is crucial for your marriage to grow. This is where married couples share feelings about themselves, their spouses, their marriage and other aspects of their lives that their spouses may not agree with, or that may hurt their feelings. This can include conversations such as how failing to budget for your money is leading the family into financial instability. These sorts of conversations can teach a couple to be tolerant of one another.
This is where couples are completely honest with each other. There’s total transparency and couples truthfully share their fears, doubts, struggles and insecurities. It means loving sharing feelings with each other – your hurts, concerns and frustrations. This can be a moment where you can honor your wife or husband and be completely vulnerable with one another.
Bottom Line
Getting to the deeper levels of communication in marriage requires deep trust, friendship and communication. With each conversation, pay attention to the level you’re communicating. Then work toward going a level deeper for a successful marriage.