What to do Before Marriage Counseling
Committing to repair a marriage is a critical first step of saving your relationship. However, one of the most difficult phases of the work begins even before the repair has begun. It’s a crucial time when you and your partner have decided to go for couples therapy, but your first session is yet to happen and you’re still feeling dissatisfied, disconnected and distressed. Here are a few tips on what to do before marriage counseling.
What to do Before Marriage Counseling
In this post, we’ll consider the steps you need to take before marriage counseling begins. The article discusses three main ways to prepare for therapy so you can reap maximum benefits and begin to honor your husband or honor your wife.
Prevent Further Damage
To prevent making things worse than they already are, work toward stopping unhealthy patterns of interactions that are causing distress in your relationship. You want to bring your best self to avoid heaping problems on top of problems.
For example, if you’re used to yelling at each other, you can prevent further damage by trying to maintain a pleasant tone and keep your volume low. If you’ve decided to sleep in separate rooms, preventing further damage means you need to respect the boundaries you’ve set to avoid conflict.
If you find yourself going back into a downward spiral of bad habits, miscommunication and hurt feelings, remember to prevent further damage. Be aware of what’s happening, stop the unhealthy spiral and opt for a different response.
Prioritize Self-Care
Prioritizing self care is choosing behaviors that nourish your body and spirit. Building a healthy relationship may be a long and difficult journey so it’s important to be mentally and physically prepared. Here are some ways to take good care of yourself:
- Drink plenty of water
- Exercise and stretch your body
- Eat fresh, healthy foods
- Get enough, uninterrupted sleep
- Rest when you’re tired
- Foster supportive relationships
- Seek joy through the arts (comedy, music, movies/theater, art)
Practice Introspection
Regardless of the theory of couples therapy your therapist is trained in – one of the primary ways your marriage counselor will help you deal with issues in your marriage is to help you and your partner think and feel differently about what’s happening in your marriage.
One of the best ways to practice introspection is to think about your experience from a new perspective. Questions you need to ask yourself include:
- What are the ways I can explain what is happening in my relationship?
- Are there alternative ways to understand what’s happening even if I don’t agree with them?
- How does my partner explain what’s happening?
- What might I see if I look from a different perspective?
Another way to practice introspection is to familiarize yourself with the idea of being mindful. Spending intentional time in nature, guided imagery and Yoga are some of the ways to bring mindfulness into your life.
Bottom Line
Therapy can go a long way in helping to repair a marriage that’s on the verge of breaking. However, there’s plenty you need to do before the marriage counseling begins. The tips mentioned should help you know what to do before marriage counseling.